Author Topic: Funny Thing I read...  (Read 873 times)

Offline RonR

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Funny Thing I read...
« on: March 18, 2019, 09:36:32 PM »
I posted this about five years ago...couldn't resist posting it again  :-D

QANTAS pilot to copilot landing at Sydney, forgetting the cabin intercom was live:
"What I need now is a cold beer and a hot shiela"
Stewardess hurries forward to the cockpit.
Chorus of passengers "Hey, you forgot the beer!"



Offline kb4tez

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Re: Funny Thing I read...
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2019, 08:02:06 AM »
oldie but a goodie :)

An Airbus 380 is on its way across Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800km/h in 30,000 ft. when suddenly a Eurofighter jet appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, a boring flight isn't it? Take care and have a look here" He rolls his jet on his back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to height, only to stoop down almost to sea level. He loops back next to Airbus and aks" Well, how was that?" The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!" The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, at the same speed. After 5 minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed " Well, what are you saying now?" The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?" The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched by legs, went to back of the flight to bathroom, got a cup of coffee & a cinnamon cake. How's that?"

Offline Twocky61

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Re: Funny Thing I read...
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2019, 11:58:01 AM »
Overheard on VHF Guard 121.5MHz frequency:

Iranian Air Defense Site: "Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself"

Aircraft: "This is a United States aircraft. I am in IRAQI airspace"

Air Defense Site: "You are in IRANIAN airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft"

Aircraft: "This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait"

Air Defense Site: (silence)

Offline Ariffraff

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Re: Funny Thing I read...
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2019, 02:49:46 AM »
Hilarious I loved this one!!

Overheard on VHF Guard 121.5MHz frequency:

Iranian Air Defense Site: "Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself"

Aircraft: "This is a United States aircraft. I am in IRAQI airspace"

Air Defense Site: "You are in IRANIAN airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft"

Aircraft: "This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait"


Air Defense Site: (silence)

Offline Twocky61

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Re: Funny Thing I read...
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2019, 04:50:18 AM »
Blonde woman learning to fly a Cessna when her instructor has a coronary & dies

She picks up the mike & calls ATC

ATC assure her they have handled this situation many times before

They request her height & position

"Well" she replies "I'm five foot seven & sat in the front seat"

After a long pause ATC tells her:

"Repeat after me. Our Father, which art in heaven...…….."

Offline Twocky61

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Re: Funny Thing I read...
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2019, 06:42:58 AM »
What is it with these suicide bombers?

Deluded that they are. they believe they are doing Allah's/God's work

They believe their reward lies in Heaven; NOT Hell

Can you imagine, when they reach the Pearly Gates, what St. Peter will say to them?

Something like this:

"Next please. Oh. it's you. The down elevator is over there"

lol